Not knowing the rules of bowling.

Not knowing the rules of bowling is eating shit.

I usually hate “I don’t know who needs to hear this” declarations, but I have one.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but in a normal game of bowling, if you hit a spare on the tenth and final frame, the game is not over. You get one more roll. If you bowl a strike on that tenth frame, the game, again, is not over. You get two more rolls.

If your tenth frame ends without a strike or a spare, only then is your game over.

It has always been this way. Ever since I first went bowling as a little kid, all through the years of birthday parties, school field trips, summer camp outings, vacations with family in town. . . this has always been how traditional ten-pin bowling is played. The rules haven’t changed at any point since I’ve been alive. Little kids play this game, and little kids inevitably learn these rules. I’m no “expert” at bowling, either. I just. . . remember how the game is played?

And yet, every single time I have EVER bowled, be it with family, friends, classmates, or even complete strangers, there are always MULTIPLE people who seem absolutely bewildered to learn that the last frame of the game sometimes plays differently than the previous turns. And I really don’t know exactly who needs to hear this, because the phenomenon transcends age, athletic ability, intelligence, and bowling frequency.

Family members will bowl a spare on their last frame of the game, only to stare at the overhead screen, turn back to look at the rest of us waiting for them, turn forward and stare at the lane, and look up at the screen again, absolutely mystified by what they’re discovering. Somehow their turn isn’t over yet! Of course, someone like me (not always me!) is forced to explain it to them.

It doesn’t matter how many times they’ve bowled over their many years of life, somehow this “quirk” of the rules absolutely does not stick with people. The rule isn't difficult to understand: in the game, bowling a spare adds 10 to your score plus whatever you get on your next roll. Bowling a strike adds 10 plus the sum of your next two rolls. So, if you bowl a strike or spare to finish the game, you need one or two more rolls to acquire those points to add on to your score. There is nothing mystifying about it. Why adults can have the ability to work and drive cars and take care of children and pay bills, but not simply remember a couple of simple rules to a game they have played hundreds of times, is so beyond me that if infinite universes exist, there is still no universe wherein I understand this.

Oh wait, I do know, it’s actually because everyone on the planet continues to be stupid, day in, day out. Just kidding! Surely. ✍︎